Amazed

No, this is not about the song. A friend finally replied back to me on MySpace aka The Devil and I started to think about a lot of things again. One of the things I thought about was if this person is one of the people I can trust or someone like many that I know. I explained in a previous post about my future with being able to trust people, and I have been looking at the actions of the people I know and I am amazed that I never noticed some of the things they have done. They are not obvious actions, but I am pretty detail oriented. I think it is possible I caught a friend in a lie last week, but it is very possible that it was true.

I really try not to be a complainer, but I somehow always come across that way. I think that is because I don’t have anyone to talk to. I also think that if more of those people had gone through even half the things I have had to go through they would think differently.

I have never really been religious. In many way I wish I was more religious, but for the way things have turned out I think I hold back because I really do think God hates me. I have met A LOT of people in my life, and I get along with people for the most part and all of these people break an incredible number of laws and do all sorts of bad shit and they end up on top. They think it is harmless, hide an AK-47 in the house when they are illegal in that state, forge some income documents to buy a car, defraud companies of thousands of dollars. I am kind to most and try to live an honest life. I am always willing to help my friends and family and think morals are important, but my road is coverd in burning napalm while others walk on water. I know I am not the only person that experiences this, but I think a number of those people end up really fucked up in life. I know it has changed who I am and how I think of people. After the events that have occurred in the last year I believe I will be changing who I am and how I act and until I do I feel bad for those who have fucked me over.